tdae... wen hougangg mall wif fangg xiin andd lii huii... ggo dre to search ferr work derhx... bt don haf siahx... haiix... siianx... met lowie... lii yuee andd her fren... stoopid lowie... kept disturbin us whilee we were takin neoprint... he waste few of our shots... haha... bt realliex quite funn lahx... haha...

lii huii was quite childish tdae... haha... she ggo andd make de sand de artwork tingy... dunno hw to decipher de ting lahx... haha... her art piece was lyk... 'wow'!!! sooo 'nice' andd 'creative'... haha... pity fangg xiin... haha... she kena scolded by lii huii durin doin de art piece... haha... soo much ferr helpin... actualliex... she make it worst!!! haha... fxy!!! if u read tiz sooriex worhx??? no offence... mie jkin niahx... haha... ((:






















tdae is de 29th... i didn realised tat its 29th till i looked at de calendar... andd... suddenlie... i tot abt hiim... haiix... it has been 3 mths liaoo... fangg xiin asked mie... "u still wanna count de daes arrhx???" haiix... of course i will... i'll count de daes till i found sum1 else... wich i tink gonna take quite sumtym... haiix... realliex wish i can ggo back into de past... nt to 'repair' my blunders... bt to realliex cherished de moments... haiix... hw i wish i gt tat special power to stop de tym... haiix... bt... i cant do nth... i can juz... haf to accept de fate... may God bless hiim... amen...

i hatee wad i heardd... i hatee wad i saw...

I am isolated... I have a broken smile... I love winning... I hate losing... You'd never imagine, I am not what it seem... I work, I study, I slog, I toil, I smoke, I drink... You'd never know what's beneathe my skin... You can say I'm stupid... You can say I'm naive... You can say what you wanna say about me!!! I don't give a damn!!! I don't wanna care!!!



BODY ART IS ART!!!
It's not something you flaunt for being a gangster... Piercings is a form of appreciation... IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE A BIG FUCK!!!
Get me??? Those who ACT lian, beng, whatever, FUCK OFF!!! Only truth appreciates of what's held beneathe the lies...
HATERS GO AWAY!!!



LIVING ON ISOLATION.THE HUSH OF THE WHISPERING WINGS have come to take me - away.

141106

141106

is de worst dae of my lyf..! i've lost 2 of my luv ones in a single dae..! jon... passed awae at 1.35pm andd grandpop at 6.10... 2 dear ones leave tiz world on de same dae... imagine hw painful my heartt is...

i juz finished tokin wif fangxiin on de phonee... wen nt even a few mins aftr tat... i received a msg frm kelson... jon's dii... he told mie..." jiie... my bro... no moree in tiz world..." i was shocked... i tot he's pullin my legg... den i kol hiim... andd de news was infact true... haiix... aftr noein tat jon had passed awae... i kolled fangg xiin andd lii huii to tell dem abt it...

den... met fangxiin at 918 ferr a while... den went hm... lii huii kolled mie... we met at my hse de void deck dre andd tok abt it... haiix... soo darnn sadd lahx... i felt paisehx ferr cryin in frnt of dem... bt i can stopped de flowin tears... at least... i'm grateful tat i've gt my frens to confide in... bt... hw bout kelson..? he's onlie 9... andd he was verie close to jon... hw will he accept de fact tat his dear bro had left hiim foreva..? haiix... i realliex pity hiim...

olthough i'm sadd abt jon's death... i felt quite happie too... nt bcoz tat he's ggone... bt bcoz of ol de sufferins tat he haf to endure had stopped... its done... finished... no moree sufferins... no moree of undergng surgeries... God had put ol tiz to stopped... thk Him...

same goes to my grandpop... he doesnt nid to suffer anymoree pains...

i still rmb hw his condition was lyk wen he was juz discharged... he look soo frail... wen we touched his body he kept sayin tat it was verie painful even though wif juz a slightest touch... he felt pain everywhr... he cant turn his body anywhr... he saed... his backbone hurtt... we were ol wonderin y... he was admitted to hospital... bt nt bcoz of de backbone... den he told my mom tat 1 dae bbe4 his was discharge... dre's a doctor hu took an injection frm his back... we(my mom andd de siblinggs) suspected tat de fcukin doctor took a sample of his bone marrow ferr checkin... andd wen my grandpop asked y did he do tat ferr... de doctor lied to hiim... sayin tat its ferr checkin de blood... wtf..! if he wan de blood sample... y muz he took it frm my grandpop's back..? can take frm de finger or sumtin wad?!! its common sense lahx... hw dare hiim lyin to a dyin man?!! damn it... God blast hiim!!!

haiix... bt ol tiz r de facts of lyf... every livin ting will die 1 dae... its juz tat... hw we r gng leave tiz world is anothr ting... bt... we haf to accept ol tiz... haiix... God pls bless dem wif Ur luv andd mercy... may deir souls rest in peace... Amin...

ur silence...

in tiz silence... i luv u...
andd wif tiz silence... i gif to u...
in spite of tiz silence... i cherished u...
bt still de silence... i don understandd u...
bcoz of tiz silence... i cum to u...
embraced in silence... i hold u...
i've nvr known such silence... yet... it speaks to mie...
ferr... wif tiz silence... i longg to bbe...
tok to mie in silence...
speak to mie wifout words of understanddin...
let mie nt mistake tiz silence ferr neglectt...
ferr... ur silence is luv... in ur own wae...
andd... in ur own... guarded heartt...

its ol abt bein mie... MYSELF... nt U!!!

my happiness is me not you.

not only because you maybe temporary, but also because you want me to be what i am not.

i cannot be happy when i change, merely to satisfy your selfishness, nor can i feel content when you criticize me for not thinking your thoughts, or for seeing like you do.

you can call me a rebel, and yet each time i have rejected your beliefs, you have rebelled against mine. i do not try to mould your mind. i know that you are trying hard enough to be just you, and i cannot allow you to tell me what to be- for i am concentrating on being me.

my opinion...

its unusual... but... i got a call from a good friend very early in the morning...so when i woke up that afternoon and saw my missed call...i made it part of my to do list to ring her back...i sensed that there's sumthin weird with it...




true enough it was weird...she just got a LEGAL case becoz she apparently said sumthin about someone in her blog...i dont really know the whole story and what was really written on the case...but hearing it made me quite sad and confused...geez!!!people are really into these stuffs...how far can one be damaged by it???




i started blogging out of boredome... as i decipher my thoughts out loud in my blogs...i kinda made it like my personal stuff...something with a sense of "belongingness"...like a diary literally...wherein no one can actually read it but friends who understands me and never judge me for my unbecoming...i mean that's how blog should work...




though i know and i have seen friends who got backfired....yes...their entries became the eye of public scrutiny and probably the center of gossips in their respective school/companies/set of friends and the likes...it is quite alarming that these things happen...and just because you wanted to share how HUMAN you are in your so called blog...that you get happy...sad...mad and crazy...people out there never took the whole concept and JUDGED YOU FOR THEIR MISINTERPRETATION...




ive always believe in the power of communication...maybe that explains why i am sooo talkative (and since i cant get enuf of it...i also write and blog a lot hehehe)...even if i dont make sense anymore (like this one hehehe)...it's becoz i always wanted to get d message across...and somehow reach the bottomline of what i wanted to be heard of...




of course i also know that i get judged...that's a given...im not perfect and my flaws are somehow the favorite attraction of the people who barely know me (andd refuses to get to know me... though i dont know if they actually exists...i just sense it or they have been discreet about it... hehehe)... bhb ryt??? hehehe... i think... if not the whole world, all of us gets that kind of treatment...we cannot please everybody... no matter how adorable we are packaged to be (ehem ehem hehehe)... sum1 muz bbe pukin ryt nw... ((: andd we just have to accept that...it may bbe d saddest part but as long as we are really sure of who we are...we dont have to pretend just to get approved by the WHOLE society...screw it!!!!




if half of the world hates you... i mean... hates me (if u want to put it that way)...at least i know Somebody up there loves me and accepts me for what i have become...He wont care at all if some black propaganda about me start to spread out...He alone can judge through my eye...see everythin... what my fabricated imaginations can do...every inch of me...coz HE KNOWS ME BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD...




with that in mind...i dont give a damn anymore!!! ((:

1st lonely night, wad will I do
I feel my heartt breakin in 2
I'm such a fool, wen will I learn
I fell soo deep, den I gt burnt
If u gave mie juz 1 reason y
My heartt juz myt let ggo
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Bt ferr nw, I'll juz leave my heartt in 2
If I nvr fall in luv agn
If I nvr touch your skin agn
If I nvr feel agn tiz wae
If I nvr see another dae
Rmb mie, rmb tiz
Coz 1 ting that will nvr change
Is de feelin in my heartt
Soo broken by u ...
Luv still remains, aftr u're gone
*Gal pls xplain, whr did I ggo rong
My heartt juz myt let ggo
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Bt ferr nw, I'll juz leave my heartt in 2
If I nvr fall in luv agn
If I nvr touch your skin agn
If I never feel again this way
If I nvr see another dae
Rmb mie, rmb tiz
Coz 1 ting that will nvr change
Is de feelin in my heartt
Soo broken by u ...
Tiz melody reminds mie of u
La la la la la la la la...
I cant let ggo
If u gave mie juz 1 reason y
My heartt juz myt let ggo
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr pass tiz wae agn
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr pass tiz wae agn
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr had my heartt broken by u
I'll juz leave my heartt in 2

broken by u...jordan knight...
*gal* changed to boii...

sadd... realliex verie sadd... haiix...



HE haven regain consciousness yet... its moree den 2 wks le... de doctors sae HE gt no hopee... haiix... God... pls don take HIIM awae frm mie... :'(

everytym... on my wae to CGH... i'll kept hopin tat my visit will bbe happie one... bt wen i reached dre... ol my hopes r gone to de drain... haiix...

i don tink i'll bbe able to visit HIIM often once HE's transfer to Gleneagles... haiix... i don wanna HIIM to transfer... bt... i've gt no choice... coz... tat is HIS parents' decision andd it is aso ferr HIS own gud... haiix... i realliex pray hardd ferr HIS well bein... God... i tink tiz is de 1st tym i realliex pray seriouslie...

God... if tiz is realliex realliex gonna bbe de end ferr HIIM... pls take HIS lyf a.s.a.p... i cant stand HIIM sufferin tat wae... BT... if tiz izzin HIS tym yet... pls make HIIM wake up... pls...

to those hu's readin tiz post... pls help mie to pray ferr HIIM... i begg y'all... pls??? juz take it as doin a favour ferr a verie sick person... an advanced thks ferr those hu pray ferr HIIM... dre's no words to express my gratitude ferr y'all... may God bless y'all ferr ur kindness... thk u once agn...