slackk

tdae... ggo dwn andd slack wif fangg xiin... aka... my 'les partner'... stoopid fangg xiin... don dare ggo hm by herself... den asked gguo xiiangg to peiix her hm... den... wen gguo xiiangg reached dre... we slackk summoree... feel lyk takin sum 'fresh air'... den de stoopid gguo xiiangg keep tellin mie de disadvantages of smokin... haha... darnn duu lann lohx... haha... bt...he actualliex... quite fun to bbe wif lahx... **hint**[ferr fangg xiin niahx]

haiix... lazie to ryt... tmr ryt moree... bubbye...

F*CKED UP BLOGG!!!

arrghx!!! i'm soo bloodiex f*cked up wif tiz fcukin blogg of my... cant do nicee nicee skins... haiix... regret changin it to blogger betta!!! arrghx!!! WTF!!! i hatee it man!!!

agnes monica music video!!!

andd... tiz songg too!!! TAK ADA LOGIKA!!! i lyk de rhythm... nt badd... ((: watch it!!! ((:




TAK ADA LOGIKA !!!

irwansyah music video!!!

i luv MY HEARTT too!!!nicee songg... meaninful... watch it too!!! ((:



MY HEARTT!!!

pussycat dolls music video!!!

i juz luv BUTTONS !!! hmm... muz watch tiz music video kkaez??? ((:




BUTTONS !!!

les dae out!!! ((:

tdae had fun wif my lessy partners agn... haha... we met at 6am in de morn... haha... ol wan ggo run at de joggin track dre... haha... fangg xiin aka pussy paii arrived 1st... follow by mie... haha... we wait ferr lii huii aka pussy chaoo ferr a while... haha... hmm... den aftr our mornin jogg... we realliex gt verie verie hungrie... and we decided to ggo andd eat our breakfast... haha... soo much of burnin dwn fats... haha...

arnd 8+ liddat... durin our breakfast... we met pussy paii ((: de mother andd sis... haha... fanggxiin aka pussy paii keep askin us to eat faster as she doesn wan to see dem... haha... badd gal horhx??? haha... hmm... den... on our wae back to 918... liihuii aka pussy chaoo ((: gonee crazie... haha... den gt tiz 'shuaii' uncle leep lookiin at her... we ol jk jk saein tat de uncle wans her no... andd she sae... pls lahx... my taste is nt tat badd kkaez??? haha... damn funniex lohx...

hmm... wen we reach 918 bbc... dre's no 1 at dre... soo... we start to plae shoot shoot wif an imaginary bball... haha... we've gt gud imagination horhx??? haha... lol... den... i tink i was playin wif fanggxiin... as in... pushin each othr lahx... wen i gt molested... haha... weiix... i mean molested by tat stoopid fanggxiin lahx... don tink too much horhx??? biian daii!!! haha... ((: den she kept laughin lahx... tat idiot horniiex n*ne lessy pussy... haha... nicee name worhx??? i name her wan lehx... haha...

we ggo 918 de void dre and slackk ferr a whilee... hmm... nt realliex awhile lahx... arnd 3hrs liddat... den gt police car past by... dey stopped arnd dre... andd check on us... haha... i tink de residents dre complained tat we're makin a whole lot of noise!!! coz... we did lotza craziie stuffs... haha... we sangg[nt realliex sangg u see... hmmm shoutin mebbe???] ((: andd we danced andd plae a so kol 'musical chairs'... verie scariex lohx... coz we had to stand at de chairs andd ggo to othr chairs a.s.a.p!!! haha... aren't we soooo childish... ((:

fuN!!! fUN!!! FUN!!! yeahx!!!

mixed up feelins...

051206...

realliex had a great great GREAT fun wif fangg xiin andd lii huii... haha... tdae... it rained heavily... andd guess wad???!!! we plae in de rain!!! yeahx!!! realliex havin great fun tdae!!! haha... we run frm de plaegrnd to de bbc den to de plaefrnd agn... haha... shiiok siiahx!!! haha... as usual... mie... de so kol immatured person plae de slide wif full of rain water!!! andd... SPLASH!!! my whole pants wet... haha... den after we stopped plaein... lii huii... fangg xiin... mie... ggo 917 dre and dry ourselves... haha... had fun comparin... haha... den we 3 'les' partners... help each othr to dry by twistin andd 'wrinchin' our clothes... i repeat... de clothes onlie... nt our pants... haha... lol... we're drenched frm top to bottom... andd soo is our bodies... haha... can juz imaginee hw wet we r rite??? haha...

andd nw... de fun part stopped...

we were tokin abt relationships... den dunno hu worhx... sae sumtin till i nearlie cry... haiix... i noe he's no moree in tiz world lahx... bt dunno y i still feel verie guilty siahx... haiix... i noe both of y'all mean gud... bt i juz cant accept tat he's gonee... haiix... anywaez... thks gals... u 2 realliex rox my lyf... i luv u 2!!! i mean it!!!

haha... andd... de fun part continued agn!!! haha... lol...

we were on our wae to houggang ave 8... peiix lii huii to buy herr poppa's meal... we were at de police post dre wen fangg xiin started to ggo crazie... haha... she held our hands[lii huii andd mie] and start to act lyk les liddat... haha... verie de... EEW!!! haha... den lii huii sae... siiao arrhx??? haha... sumtin liddat... haha... realliex verie funnie lohx... haha... luckie gt no ppl... xpc... guys saw us... haha... lol... bt still verie fun lohx... haha... fangg xiin!!! my lessy partner!!! i luv u dear!!! muackzzz!!! ((:

aftr buyin food ferr lii huii's poppa... we went back... fangg xiin peiix lii huii ggo sent de takeout hm... while i went upstrs[my hse lahx]... haha... den... we met andd lii huii's void deck dre... i gt hungrie... den asked any1 of dem wanna ggo eat peiix peiix miianx anot... haha... andd each annd everi1 of us agree... haha... den we ggo minimart dre andd bought chilli crab... our fav flavour... haha... lol... den we straight awae ggo 917 as 918 voids r occupied... i'm quite pissed of wif de chopstix siiahx... 1 of de pair gt broken... thus... i haf to eat wif 1 short andd 1 longg chopstix... poor mie horhx??? haha...

hmm... arnd 7+ liddat... we start to get restless... den... i listened to songgs... lii huii wanna bluetooth songgs... den she gt nt enough memory... she wanna delete de video tat her ex so specialiex ferr her... wow!!! soo swiit lohx!!! fangg xiin andd mie watched de video andd ggo siiao... we see de video andd kept sayin "wahx... soo swiit!!!" shout hre... shout dre... haha...

suddenliie... ms aw fangg xiin... aka... my les partner ((: standd on de chair andd gt 'high'... haha... she was showin mie de letters tat we saw in de video... haha... she bbe de 'laoo ggong' andd i'm de 'laoo poo' haha... den dunno wad... gt sum guys look at us... haha... thks to fangg xiin lohx... act sooo crazie... haha... jkjk... fangg xiin realised it andd stopped... aftr tat...she started agn... haiix... realliex crazie lohx tdae... haha...

a greatest dedication to fangg xiin andd lii huii :
thks gals!!! u 2 realliex made my dae tdae!!! haha... luv u 2!!! sistaz 4evr!!! muackzzz!!! ((:

{our fav colours: pinkk-fanggxiin blue-liihuii black-mie!!!}

introspection ((:

It's funny how life is sometimes. When it starts to fall apart, everything comes unravelling. But when things start to come around, everything comes together... only to fall apart again. Well, maybe it's just me. Now its like no matter how hard I try, my mind just tells me I'll fail if I take a step forward.
I'm finally ready for the big commitments in life. Things are unfolding beyond my wildest dreams yet I'm almost complacent. Maybe it's like an initial shock to all the good fortune that I'm not used to.

the red mist of ambivalence is descending...

I think there is something about fighting that brings out a person's true self. It doesn't matter what you say or how you act. In the ring all the layers are peeled away and what's left is who you really are.-Josh Barnett [quote ferr de dae] ((:

I tink tat's y I luv it soo much... No pretentious is hre... U either run or u find out wad u're made of... ((:

hmm... i'm wonderin... y de hell i wrote tiz siahx... haha... hmmm...

mie... bytch??? wadeva...

i juz realliex hatee de word BYTCH!!! i juz don understandd y...

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bytch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bytch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bytch.

Being a bytch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.

It means I live my life MY way.

It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bytch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.

I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of
patience I hold within me.

You won't succeed.And if that makes me a bytch, so be it.


coz...


I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.


so any1 out dre hu hatee mie ferr ol de tings tat i nvr evr do... juz FUCK OFF!!! i'm nt gng to bbe a fool andd accept ol de fuckin andd de humiliatin tings tat u ol sae!!! pls... stopped ol tiz nonsence!!! i've had ENOUGH!!! andd I REALLIEX MEAN IT!!!

tdae... wen hougangg mall wif fangg xiin andd lii huii... ggo dre to search ferr work derhx... bt don haf siahx... haiix... siianx... met lowie... lii yuee andd her fren... stoopid lowie... kept disturbin us whilee we were takin neoprint... he waste few of our shots... haha... bt realliex quite funn lahx... haha...

lii huii was quite childish tdae... haha... she ggo andd make de sand de artwork tingy... dunno hw to decipher de ting lahx... haha... her art piece was lyk... 'wow'!!! sooo 'nice' andd 'creative'... haha... pity fangg xiin... haha... she kena scolded by lii huii durin doin de art piece... haha... soo much ferr helpin... actualliex... she make it worst!!! haha... fxy!!! if u read tiz sooriex worhx??? no offence... mie jkin niahx... haha... ((:






















tdae is de 29th... i didn realised tat its 29th till i looked at de calendar... andd... suddenlie... i tot abt hiim... haiix... it has been 3 mths liaoo... fangg xiin asked mie... "u still wanna count de daes arrhx???" haiix... of course i will... i'll count de daes till i found sum1 else... wich i tink gonna take quite sumtym... haiix... realliex wish i can ggo back into de past... nt to 'repair' my blunders... bt to realliex cherished de moments... haiix... hw i wish i gt tat special power to stop de tym... haiix... bt... i cant do nth... i can juz... haf to accept de fate... may God bless hiim... amen...

i hatee wad i heardd... i hatee wad i saw...

I am isolated... I have a broken smile... I love winning... I hate losing... You'd never imagine, I am not what it seem... I work, I study, I slog, I toil, I smoke, I drink... You'd never know what's beneathe my skin... You can say I'm stupid... You can say I'm naive... You can say what you wanna say about me!!! I don't give a damn!!! I don't wanna care!!!



BODY ART IS ART!!!
It's not something you flaunt for being a gangster... Piercings is a form of appreciation... IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE A BIG FUCK!!!
Get me??? Those who ACT lian, beng, whatever, FUCK OFF!!! Only truth appreciates of what's held beneathe the lies...
HATERS GO AWAY!!!



LIVING ON ISOLATION.THE HUSH OF THE WHISPERING WINGS have come to take me - away.

141106

141106

is de worst dae of my lyf..! i've lost 2 of my luv ones in a single dae..! jon... passed awae at 1.35pm andd grandpop at 6.10... 2 dear ones leave tiz world on de same dae... imagine hw painful my heartt is...

i juz finished tokin wif fangxiin on de phonee... wen nt even a few mins aftr tat... i received a msg frm kelson... jon's dii... he told mie..." jiie... my bro... no moree in tiz world..." i was shocked... i tot he's pullin my legg... den i kol hiim... andd de news was infact true... haiix... aftr noein tat jon had passed awae... i kolled fangg xiin andd lii huii to tell dem abt it...

den... met fangxiin at 918 ferr a while... den went hm... lii huii kolled mie... we met at my hse de void deck dre andd tok abt it... haiix... soo darnn sadd lahx... i felt paisehx ferr cryin in frnt of dem... bt i can stopped de flowin tears... at least... i'm grateful tat i've gt my frens to confide in... bt... hw bout kelson..? he's onlie 9... andd he was verie close to jon... hw will he accept de fact tat his dear bro had left hiim foreva..? haiix... i realliex pity hiim...

olthough i'm sadd abt jon's death... i felt quite happie too... nt bcoz tat he's ggone... bt bcoz of ol de sufferins tat he haf to endure had stopped... its done... finished... no moree sufferins... no moree of undergng surgeries... God had put ol tiz to stopped... thk Him...

same goes to my grandpop... he doesnt nid to suffer anymoree pains...

i still rmb hw his condition was lyk wen he was juz discharged... he look soo frail... wen we touched his body he kept sayin tat it was verie painful even though wif juz a slightest touch... he felt pain everywhr... he cant turn his body anywhr... he saed... his backbone hurtt... we were ol wonderin y... he was admitted to hospital... bt nt bcoz of de backbone... den he told my mom tat 1 dae bbe4 his was discharge... dre's a doctor hu took an injection frm his back... we(my mom andd de siblinggs) suspected tat de fcukin doctor took a sample of his bone marrow ferr checkin... andd wen my grandpop asked y did he do tat ferr... de doctor lied to hiim... sayin tat its ferr checkin de blood... wtf..! if he wan de blood sample... y muz he took it frm my grandpop's back..? can take frm de finger or sumtin wad?!! its common sense lahx... hw dare hiim lyin to a dyin man?!! damn it... God blast hiim!!!

haiix... bt ol tiz r de facts of lyf... every livin ting will die 1 dae... its juz tat... hw we r gng leave tiz world is anothr ting... bt... we haf to accept ol tiz... haiix... God pls bless dem wif Ur luv andd mercy... may deir souls rest in peace... Amin...

ur silence...

in tiz silence... i luv u...
andd wif tiz silence... i gif to u...
in spite of tiz silence... i cherished u...
bt still de silence... i don understandd u...
bcoz of tiz silence... i cum to u...
embraced in silence... i hold u...
i've nvr known such silence... yet... it speaks to mie...
ferr... wif tiz silence... i longg to bbe...
tok to mie in silence...
speak to mie wifout words of understanddin...
let mie nt mistake tiz silence ferr neglectt...
ferr... ur silence is luv... in ur own wae...
andd... in ur own... guarded heartt...

its ol abt bein mie... MYSELF... nt U!!!

my happiness is me not you.

not only because you maybe temporary, but also because you want me to be what i am not.

i cannot be happy when i change, merely to satisfy your selfishness, nor can i feel content when you criticize me for not thinking your thoughts, or for seeing like you do.

you can call me a rebel, and yet each time i have rejected your beliefs, you have rebelled against mine. i do not try to mould your mind. i know that you are trying hard enough to be just you, and i cannot allow you to tell me what to be- for i am concentrating on being me.

my opinion...

its unusual... but... i got a call from a good friend very early in the morning...so when i woke up that afternoon and saw my missed call...i made it part of my to do list to ring her back...i sensed that there's sumthin weird with it...




true enough it was weird...she just got a LEGAL case becoz she apparently said sumthin about someone in her blog...i dont really know the whole story and what was really written on the case...but hearing it made me quite sad and confused...geez!!!people are really into these stuffs...how far can one be damaged by it???




i started blogging out of boredome... as i decipher my thoughts out loud in my blogs...i kinda made it like my personal stuff...something with a sense of "belongingness"...like a diary literally...wherein no one can actually read it but friends who understands me and never judge me for my unbecoming...i mean that's how blog should work...




though i know and i have seen friends who got backfired....yes...their entries became the eye of public scrutiny and probably the center of gossips in their respective school/companies/set of friends and the likes...it is quite alarming that these things happen...and just because you wanted to share how HUMAN you are in your so called blog...that you get happy...sad...mad and crazy...people out there never took the whole concept and JUDGED YOU FOR THEIR MISINTERPRETATION...




ive always believe in the power of communication...maybe that explains why i am sooo talkative (and since i cant get enuf of it...i also write and blog a lot hehehe)...even if i dont make sense anymore (like this one hehehe)...it's becoz i always wanted to get d message across...and somehow reach the bottomline of what i wanted to be heard of...




of course i also know that i get judged...that's a given...im not perfect and my flaws are somehow the favorite attraction of the people who barely know me (andd refuses to get to know me... though i dont know if they actually exists...i just sense it or they have been discreet about it... hehehe)... bhb ryt??? hehehe... i think... if not the whole world, all of us gets that kind of treatment...we cannot please everybody... no matter how adorable we are packaged to be (ehem ehem hehehe)... sum1 muz bbe pukin ryt nw... ((: andd we just have to accept that...it may bbe d saddest part but as long as we are really sure of who we are...we dont have to pretend just to get approved by the WHOLE society...screw it!!!!




if half of the world hates you... i mean... hates me (if u want to put it that way)...at least i know Somebody up there loves me and accepts me for what i have become...He wont care at all if some black propaganda about me start to spread out...He alone can judge through my eye...see everythin... what my fabricated imaginations can do...every inch of me...coz HE KNOWS ME BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD...




with that in mind...i dont give a damn anymore!!! ((:

1st lonely night, wad will I do
I feel my heartt breakin in 2
I'm such a fool, wen will I learn
I fell soo deep, den I gt burnt
If u gave mie juz 1 reason y
My heartt juz myt let ggo
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Bt ferr nw, I'll juz leave my heartt in 2
If I nvr fall in luv agn
If I nvr touch your skin agn
If I nvr feel agn tiz wae
If I nvr see another dae
Rmb mie, rmb tiz
Coz 1 ting that will nvr change
Is de feelin in my heartt
Soo broken by u ...
Luv still remains, aftr u're gone
*Gal pls xplain, whr did I ggo rong
My heartt juz myt let ggo
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Bt ferr nw, I'll juz leave my heartt in 2
If I nvr fall in luv agn
If I nvr touch your skin agn
If I never feel again this way
If I nvr see another dae
Rmb mie, rmb tiz
Coz 1 ting that will nvr change
Is de feelin in my heartt
Soo broken by u ...
Tiz melody reminds mie of u
La la la la la la la la...
I cant let ggo
If u gave mie juz 1 reason y
My heartt juz myt let ggo
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Mebbe 1 dae I will fall in luv agn
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr pass tiz wae agn
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr pass tiz wae agn
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr
Nvr fall in luv agn
Nvr had my heartt broken by u
I'll juz leave my heartt in 2

broken by u...jordan knight...
*gal* changed to boii...

sadd... realliex verie sadd... haiix...



HE haven regain consciousness yet... its moree den 2 wks le... de doctors sae HE gt no hopee... haiix... God... pls don take HIIM awae frm mie... :'(

everytym... on my wae to CGH... i'll kept hopin tat my visit will bbe happie one... bt wen i reached dre... ol my hopes r gone to de drain... haiix...

i don tink i'll bbe able to visit HIIM often once HE's transfer to Gleneagles... haiix... i don wanna HIIM to transfer... bt... i've gt no choice... coz... tat is HIS parents' decision andd it is aso ferr HIS own gud... haiix... i realliex pray hardd ferr HIS well bein... God... i tink tiz is de 1st tym i realliex pray seriouslie...

God... if tiz is realliex realliex gonna bbe de end ferr HIIM... pls take HIS lyf a.s.a.p... i cant stand HIIM sufferin tat wae... BT... if tiz izzin HIS tym yet... pls make HIIM wake up... pls...

to those hu's readin tiz post... pls help mie to pray ferr HIIM... i begg y'all... pls??? juz take it as doin a favour ferr a verie sick person... an advanced thks ferr those hu pray ferr HIIM... dre's no words to express my gratitude ferr y'all... may God bless y'all ferr ur kindness... thk u once agn...